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Tuesday, January 19, 2010

I'm tired of nursing

I know it's so very very un-pc and un-AP of me to say this. But I'm tired of breastfeeding my 20-month-old daughter.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not going to wean. I have no intention of making her stop something she's not ready to stop. I'm the adult here and she's a little child who doesn't even know yet that eventually she will stop suckling at my breast for sustenance and comfort.

Annika has been a comfort nurser since day one. It was the easiest way to get her to sleep. She still naps at my breast as much as she can.

But recently I've been getting this inner gnawing feeling that I really don't want to nurse. I will even go as far as to say I dread it sometimes.

I've started telling her no sometimes. I try to distract when I can, but sometimes I have to simply say, "No, we just got done nursing. We're going to xyz now."

She's started asking me to "turn," instead of saying "nuse" all the time. She learned that would get me to turn over when we were night nursing (which by the way, has regressed, but I'll write about that later).

So, she'll say, "Mama, turn, nuse, turn, nuse," when she's standing next to me, or unzipping my jacket. Yeah, she's starting undressing me without even asking. She's becoming more and more like her father every day.

What? Was that inappropriate?

Whatever. I'm the human chew toy over here, being strapped down daily by a 25 pound kid with legs almost as long as mine.

So yeah, not very AP of me. I know. But I love my daughter, I don't want to traumatize her, so I'll see this nursing relationship through. I am having a hard time believing that I will cry when it's over. But see me in six months to a year and I'll probably be bawling like a baby.


  1. I understand your feeling....my son self weaned at 30 months and I was certainly ready for it to end for months before. But didn't. And I did cry when it was over. Hang in there! =)

  2. You are such a good mom! It is so easy to be selfish when it comes to parenting, I give you a lot of credit for putting Annika first. Eamon is only 9 months and there are times when I am tired of nursing him too. That could be because he tries to multi-task when he is nursing and pulls off 20 times a minute. Ah well...I just wanted to say you are doing a great job and keep up the good work! =)

  3. I hear you. My first nursed until 15 months, my second until 18 months and my third until 23 months. I was soo glad to be done and they get harder and harder to wean it seems. But...it's well worth it. My kids don't seem to get that sick and they are now 10, 7 and 5. Plus, they just seem to have such warm memories of that time. pragmaticmom

  4. Thanks for sharing ladies. It's so nice to know I'm not the only one who feels this way. It's not like I don't still enjoy it sometimes, but nursing a wriggly toddler is way different than a newborn.


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