Being a procrastinator is helping me put off my mental shift about laziness

It is finally happening. Annika has begun to sleep deeper and longer.

I waited and prayed for this day. I spent long and anguishing hours contemplating what I would do once I finally got my evenings back.

No more would I waste my time watching television and Facebook stalking. Becoming a mother had changed me. I knew that I was a changed woman. I finally realized the value of my limited time and when Annika started sleeping longer and deeper, I would enjoy productive evenings. I would write in my blog more and I would research freelance opportunities, send out networking e-mails and look for other opportunities.

Yeah right.

If you are one of my few regular readers you might have noticed that lately I have actually been writing less.

Know what I've been doing?

While you make your three guess, I'll give you a few hints.

I can tell you what Hiro Nakamura has been doing. He's dying from a brain tumor, meanwhile Liz Lemon is getting laid more often and having sex dreams about Jack Donaghy.

That's right. I'm right back to my old habits. 

I've tried to rationalize it, by telling myself I'm tired. I'm recharging. I'm relaxing.

The truth is I'm lazy. I've thought about writing television reviews, but I'm afraid that would totally screw with my finely-tuned balance of laying-around-time-and-putting-things-off.

I've wondered lately if I will ever change. Will I ever manage to focus my attention on things that matter like, writing more, finding a way to efficiently manage household chores, and work from home, all while being a creative and attentive mother?

According to Claire Dunphy, people can only change approximately 15 percent.

If that's all I can aspire to, then I guess I shouldn't add any more shows to my repertoire. But we are in the middle of a season. I think I should wait until the new fall lineup to make any rash decisions. 

Managing the space/time continuum of toddlerhood

Lately I've been wishing that time would stand still for a few minutes every day.

I haven't been watching Heroes this season, but I watched the first three seasons religiously and my favorite character, hands down, was Hiro Nakamura, the guy who could manipulate space and time. I loved the idea that he could move through time and stop it when it suited him. Well, that and he's just freakin' adorable.

Since Annika has made the leap from infancy to toddlerhood I have been missing the infant days. Not just because it was slower, but because now I can see that Annika really will grow up. During the infant stage she needed me so much and was so helpless that it seemed like it would last forever. (Believe me, sometimes I wanted to speed time up.)

So since I am not Hiro Nakamura, what I have been doing to manage my own space/time continuum is trying to take mental snapshots when I get the chance.

I want to remember the way she laughs and holds her head close to mine when she is feeling warm and fuzzy.

Instead of getting frustrated when she wants to spend 20 minutes running around the car and trying to open it with my keys, I let her. I revel in the magical wonderment of keys and locks instead of tapping my foot and wishing she would just come inside with me so I can make dinner.

Last week I started taking baths with her again. I know this is a practice of many folks with their infants, but Annika always hated baths until recently so it was in and out for her with as little fanfare as possible.

But yeah, now she LOVES the bath. So we get in together and she keeps the water running filling her cups with it and dumping it on herself while I lounge in the deep end, amused by her fascination with pouring.

She has been learning so much lately. Every day she says even more new words and she is starting to say things that I didn't even know she knew! That is the magical wonderment of parenthood.

Additionally, with it being Christmastime, I have been thinking about traditions and wanting to make the right choices when it comes to memory-making for Annika.

I have been thinking that I want to make the month of December all about slowing down time, spending it with her and ensuring that her memories of Christmas are not just about presents, but about spending time with her loved ones.

Well that and believing in a fat guy who can fit down a chimney.