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Monday, December 7, 2009

This was the plan all along

A few people have made comments to me about being sorry that Toyin and I split up so I figured it was necessary to explain a little more about our situation.

We dated for a while almost five years ago. When we broke up, we maintained our friendship. We also had intimate moments here and there (obviously) but it was pretty clear early on in our dating life that we were not compatible.

When I got pregnant Toyin agreed to move to Austin and support me for the first year so I could stay at home with Annika. We agreed that it was the ideal first year for her and we were fortunate enough to be able to afford it.

For the past six months we have been working out some details and we also continued living together because we had a lease.

But we are finally ready to go our separate ways and become regular single parents.

So far so good.

While living together, we functioned as a couple in many ways, which means that we fought like couples do on occasion. We had a lot of the same issues that many couples do, but without any motivation to fix them since it was a temporary situation.

I'm not going to get into any gory details, but lets just say that if we really were a couple, we'd definitely need some counseling if we were going to stay together.

This is a good move and it is a significant step in our family and in our co-parenting relationship. I can already feel a lot of pressure lifting and I think Toyin and I are headed toward an even better friendship than we had before.

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