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Saturday, February 6, 2010

Being a procrastinator is helping me put off my mental shift about laziness

It is finally happening. Annika has begun to sleep deeper and longer.

I waited and prayed for this day. I spent long and anguishing hours contemplating what I would do once I finally got my evenings back.

No more would I waste my time watching television and Facebook stalking. Becoming a mother had changed me. I knew that I was a changed woman. I finally realized the value of my limited time and when Annika started sleeping longer and deeper, I would enjoy productive evenings. I would write in my blog more and I would research freelance opportunities, send out networking e-mails and look for other opportunities.

Yeah right.

If you are one of my few regular readers you might have noticed that lately I have actually been writing less.

Know what I've been doing?

While you make your three guess, I'll give you a few hints.

I can tell you what Hiro Nakamura has been doing. He's dying from a brain tumor, meanwhile Liz Lemon is getting laid more often and having sex dreams about Jack Donaghy.

That's right. I'm right back to my old habits. 

I've tried to rationalize it, by telling myself I'm tired. I'm recharging. I'm relaxing.

The truth is I'm lazy. I've thought about writing television reviews, but I'm afraid that would totally screw with my finely-tuned balance of laying-around-time-and-putting-things-off.

I've wondered lately if I will ever change. Will I ever manage to focus my attention on things that matter like, writing more, finding a way to efficiently manage household chores, and work from home, all while being a creative and attentive mother?

According to Claire Dunphy, people can only change approximately 15 percent.

If that's all I can aspire to, then I guess I shouldn't add any more shows to my repertoire. But we are in the middle of a season. I think I should wait until the new fall lineup to make any rash decisions. 

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