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Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Soul mirror

My daughter and I look nothing alike.


I have actually been asked numerous times by strangers if she's adopted. The most interesting phrasing of that was by a third cousin's husband at my great aunt's funeral.

"How long have you had her?" he asked.

Had her? I didn't quite understand what he meant at first.

My answer, "She's a year old."

He then went on to tell me that he and his wife had adopted some bi-racial children.


"No, no, no, she's all mine." I said itching with irritation. "I carried her for nine months and went through 19 1/2 hours of labor to prove it. Although, I know, she looks nothing like me."

But I have been noticing lately that she is becoming more and more like me. Watching her is like looking in a mirror sometimes. She reflects back to me much of what I am. I see myself in her, and I see her in me.

For instance, she gets this look on her face when she is examining something very intently.

That's me! My inner voice screams with delight when I see that look.

"I get that look too! That's me! She does look like me!"

And also, the way she enters a new situation warily, and insistent that she examine every thing and every person before she gets comfortable.

That is also me. To a tee.

I have heard parents say that they see themselves reflected in their children.

I never really understood.

Having a child forces you to see yourself in a light that was impossible before becoming a parent.

Socrates said "An unexamined life is not worth living."

I spent years writing in my journal, going to therapy, meditating, hashing out my problems with my best friend, venting, examining, amateur psychologying....

Only to have a child and see so many things as clear as day.

It's nice to see myself in her.


It's cute.

I just wonder what it's going to be like when she starts yelling at the dog and screaming "Asshole! out the window at other cars while driving down the highway.

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