I keep wondering if there are any other folks out there like my little family. We are an odd pair of parents. Toyin and I aren't married, nor are we a couple. We were once and it was nice, but in the end we realized that the main thing we enjoyed about each other was the sex.
We stayed friends and when I got pregnant after what was supposed to be a fun weekend swimming and jetskiing we decided to do what was best for our daughter.
We decided to be co-parents.
I had never planned to be a mother. But I knew that if I ever did, there would be no other choice but to stay at home with my kid(s).
When I told Toyin that I wanted to stay home with Annika, he agreed to support me for the first year.
In order to do that, we figured that it made sense financially to live together.
We are not a couple, yet we have chosen to raise our daughter together. We live together, share bills, meals, and fight like a dysfunctional couple. And so far, it works way better than I ever thought it would.
Ask me on another day, and I might tell you I'm in a living hell. Ask him, and who knows what he might say, like me, it would probably depend on the day.
But ask our daughter, (she can't talk yet) and she'll babble at you and crawl over to one of us arms raised and look around at us as if this is the most natural life in the world.
She doesn't know anything different. She's happy. So it works.
I wondered how this year would go.
Living with an ex-boyfriend. Depending on him for money. Wondering what people think of our arrangement. Deciding when or if I should tell people that ours is not a typical family. Letting people assume, and they do.
But it has worked as well as any marriage, maybe better than some, maybe not as good as some.
It's going to end soon. We've been talking about when the day comes that we no longer live together. I'm nervous about becoming a single mom for real.
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Monday, April 27, 2009
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